Photography

Seeing My Shadow

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I feel like I have been hibernating for a year. It's getting a little tired. More than a little. I have been trying to keep physically, mentally, and artistically active, but as we all know, it's tough. Last Spring I started an in-person workshop at the Griffin Museum of Photography called the Atelier. The world changed after that first meeting. Like most things, from that point it was all on-line. I don't think any of us thought that the workshop would work that way, but I think most of us changed our minds by the end. I blogged about it here ages ago (Alone Together - the show). In the middle of 2020, being at a certain juncture in my life, I decided to stop taking commercial work, which had all but vanished anyway. For that reason, and for the obvious safety concerns of working in the studio during those days, I couldn't justify keeping the studio. So I let it go.

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This blog entry is more of a touch-base moment than anything profound. I wanted to let people know that I was still alive and working! I also hope to blog here periodically, as opposed to my more recent habit of just sitting and waiting for something to happen. Take it from me, that doesn't work. I am working on a couple of long-term projects and plan to talk and show some of that work, at least here. It's a work-in-progress.

I was looking at some of my favorite coffee table books the other night and got a little fixated on the Irvin Penn Centennial book created for the Met's show of the same name from a couple of years ago. I realized just how much I miss photographing people, and my studio. I have loved Penn's work since I was in high school. Those perfect quirky poses, the lighting, the contrast of those flawless prints, and the 'drop of poison', that thing that is a little 'off' that makes you linger and think, always inspired me. Photography as an art has certainly changed since his time, and not only in a technological sense. But I still get inspired by his work, as well as Avedon's, Gordon Park's, and many others who were working in those years when I was so artistically impressionable. So while I am doing some work now, mostly outdoors, I do miss the interaction that comes with working with a subject as well as the intimacy of the studio. I don't have plans for a studio any time soon, nor do I plan to take any 'client work', but I do hope to meetup with people outside and make art with them.

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Don't We All Hate Those End-of-Year Lists? Me too. So here is mine.

The endless, end-of-year lists, all structured to be click-bait, are in full swing. I've been doing such a blog post for 4 of the last 5 years. I'm not sure why I missed 2016, but here is my contribution for this past year, 2018.

There were three magazine covers, two for Merrimack Valley Magazine, and one for Commercial Integrator, a trade magazine. There were several features for these and other magazines that I am proud of, as well as a very un-typical-for-me architectural shoot that was actually fun.

Finally, there were my artistic efforts. I was really happy to have had showings at two Curated Fridge shows (click for more on that), one photograph shown at the Whistler Museum of Art in Lowell, Massachusetts, and two photographs that made the 'on-line annexes' of gallery shows, one at the Photo Place Gallery, in Middlebury, Vermont, and the other at the Black Box Gallery, in Portland Oregon.

Thank you, as always, for your support this year and have a great 2019!

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From the July-August 2018 issue of the Merrimack Valley Magazine

From the July-August 2018 issue of the Merrimack Valley Magazine

From the September-October 2018 issue of the Merrimack Valley Magazine

From the September-October 2018 issue of the Merrimack Valley Magazine

From the May-June 2018 issue of the Merrimack Valley Magazine

From the May-June 2018 issue of the Merrimack Valley Magazine

From the March-April 2018 issue of the Merrimack Valley Magazine

From the March-April 2018 issue of the Merrimack Valley Magazine

From the September-October 2018 issue of the Merrimack Valley Magazine

From the September-October 2018 issue of the Merrimack Valley Magazine

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Sergio

Last year I asked a former neighbor of mine at Lowell's Western Avenue Studios, Sergio Vélazquez, if I could photograph him, partly because he is an interesting guy, who also happens to be a photographer, but also because he sometimes lets his hair get pretty interesting. While I missed that window, Sergio having cut his hair before we could schedule the shoot, I ran into him again recently and we finally made it happen. Since the first proposed shoot, he and his wife Kerri, who together run Sweet Pig Press with their amazing antique letterpress printer, moved their studio and shop to Mill No. 5, on Jackson Street in Lowell. I thought that their shop, and that amazing printer, would make a great location with the evening available light.

http://sweetpigpress.com


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This One is About Me

This one is about me. This winter, in fact since mid-summer, I have been experiencing a sort of existential crisis concerning myself as an artist. I attended a workshop in July that was a pretty negative experience, a  disaster really, mostly having to do with the instructor. I partially blame myself as well for the careless way in which I chose the workshop. Not surprisingly, I did meet several very talented and creative photographers at the workshop, but I found the dynamic fostered by the instructor pretty much sucked the life out of most of us. Possibly because of this experience, I realized in the early winter that, with the exception of one studio shoot, I felt completely blocked artistically. I think the experience of that summer workshop was a kind of message from my subconscious that I needed to take this more seriously. 

So now as I slowly come out into the light in fits and starts, I am realizing that there is a reason that the phrase 'personal work' contains that adjective; it needs to be personal. It can't be done FOR someone else; that's client work. Nor can it be LIKE someone else's work.

Selfie - probably around 1968

Selfie - probably around 1968

I started my photographic journey before I was even in high school. I was enamored with the work of Penn, Avedon, Ansel Adams, and others of that era. But I was also attracted to 'the process' of making photographs. I was sloppy and careless with my process then, as I was with everything else as a kid, including my schoolwork. But I also recall the enthusiasm and abandon with which I set out to make photographs. I thought that Penn and Adams were about the process too, which to an extent they clearly were. But over time I have come to realize of late that the photographs that they made were about themselves as well. I think the idea that Ansel Adams' work is thought to have been simply about technical perfection of its day, and nothing more, engenders replication that is technically accurate, but lacks the artist himself.

My Father - late 1970s

My Father - late 1970s

My Mother and Father - late 1970s

My Mother and Father - late 1970s

My life as a photographer was on hiatus for much of my life as I pursued two other careers. I don't regret any of it. In fact, sometimes I wonder what kind of photographer I would be now had I been a commercial photographer for those 30-plus years. Re-creating my photographer 'self' as digital photography became real caused me to lose sight of my old 'self' and that old process for a while. I immersed myself in the new technology, including learning to use lighting, much of which either didn't exist or was far beyond my abilities to afford in the early 70s. Once again, it became all about the process. A couple of years ago I started to use film again, first sending my film to a lab, then buying a couple of larger format cameras and developing the film myself. It was still about the process. The process of shooting film though came with a lot of deja vu moments, causing me to think a lot about what my 15-year-old-self was thinking, and feeling. 

New Hampshire, probably around 1970

New Hampshire, probably around 1970

Somewhere near my house - probably around 1970

Somewhere near my house - probably around 1970

Over the last year or so though this process-based photography has been feeling pretty hollow. I need to do more than just make technically good photographs. Probably not surprisingly, over this time I have been trying to make them less so; low-light, grainy images, paper negatives; maybe as a way to shake things up.

Double exposed paper negative - January 2018

Double exposed paper negative - January 2018

If you are my client, the good news is that I am basically a "pleaser". I am sure that it has something to do with my upbringing in a conservative Catholic family and 12 years of parochial school. Layer that on top of an inherently introverted personality and that makes for someone who does not like to disappoint. I will always strive to give my clients what they are looking for. But my personal work has to say something about myself. It's an ongoing project and definitely has it's ups and downs, good days and bad (ask my wife), but I need to feel that the work that I make has substance and meaning for me and that it says what I want it to say.


A few more of my photographs, probably from the early 1970s

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2017 - That Was The Year That Was

I usually do an end-of-year retrospective of my work, but this year I am running a little late. But it's not really TOO late, is it? So here, without any excessive wordiness, are some of the things that I was involved with in 2017. I hope it is fun to skim through!